I work in a male-dominated job in the finance industry in Germany. The more senior I get, the more I understand why so many women in Germany postpone having children or give up on it entirely. I’m in my late twenties, I really love my job, but now that the biological clock is ticking, I see the cracks everywhere.
My household income is 175,000 euros alongside my husband (who earns significantly less than me). Thanks to the government, we’re suddenly no longer entitled to reasonable parental benefits. In 2025, with inflation and rising cost of living, that is not a luxury income for two full-time workers. What are we supposed to do? Strategically lower our income before getting pregnant just to receive any support at all?
I’m tied to my desk from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m, hardly ever working from home, I spent years doing ten unpaid internships to get where I am. Despite this, I still feel a need to achieve more by the time I’m 30 than any male colleague because I know that, when I have a child, promotions and salary increases don’t just continue the way they used to.
Companies need to stop pretending that maternity protection and parental leave have no effect on a career. At the first instance of “My child is sick, I need to step away for a moment,” priorities get questioned. I see it every day with female colleagues. I want to go back to work after giving birth, and I want to look after my child. Why does it have to be a choice? If companies really cared, they’d build a daycare in the office and offer real flexibility.
As for Karin Prien and the government. You want higher birth rates? Then support the women who financially sustain this country. I can afford to have a child without support, but when I compare the costs next to my full-time job with the option of reducing my hours and receiving more state benefits… suddenly the math doesn’t add up. And that’s exactly why so many women postpone it, or decide against it.
The system is broken, and we women are the ones paying the price for it.
The government and large companies could do so much more to support parents going back to work and child facilities at work would help. Tax breaks for new parents would also help the transition back to work. More joined up thinking between all services would also help such as childcare information being part of discussions with midwives as some mothers return to work after three months.
However this isn’t going to happen over night, or at all, so if you want children then waiting until you can afford to have them will mean you wait forever. There is never an ideal time and the maths will never fully add up. Work arrangements particularly in large companies are much better than they used to be but office work hours are still really arranged around the traditional model that men work and women will give up work when they have kids so kids/ family life doesn’t need to be accommodated as there is always a partner doing that in the background.
Yes the system is broken, companies, working arrangements and school hours don’t make it easy and very few companies have creches. Usually both parents juggle responsibilities and use extended nursery hours, after school clubs and holiday clubs and maybe family to provide cover when at work. It’s not ideal.
Parenting is about choice, commitment and compromise every day but I’d argue more worthwhile than any job. Being present for your child is important and you may find that you don’t want to do the hours or the commute and the money isn’t as important when you do have kids. So your outlook on your worklife, career and income may change after having kids regardless of the childcare arrangements and the cost.
Fellow German here! Fully agreeing with what you’re saying, while as a male, I’m aware that I’m obviously in a different position here, but as someone who’s soon becoming father, I can sort of understand how this system in our country is weirdly rigid and definitely not supporting couples of young professionals, who want to build a family. Luckily, my company has a childcare in our building, but that will also be a not small cost as well.